Summer River, pastel painting |
I call this poem below my signature poem. I wrote it back in 1994, and I still can't read or recite it without tears. I remember as a teenager being at a concert with friends and right up at the stage, and the lead singer dedicated a song to my friend. I knew then, I would never be the kind of person people wrote (or sang) songs about.
Years later, this poem emerged after a three-month depression after an intense three-week teacher-training workshop. And while the poem has sadness and a bit of despair, it's also a freeing moment of accepting who I AM!
They Will Never Write Songs About Me
Sometimes I feel so insignificant
so useless, so unimportant.
I am certainly nobody’s hero,
never one to be looked up to
never to stand out in a crowd.
I will never BE somebody.
I am destined to stand in periphery
and they will never ever write songs about me.
Sometimes I get a glimpse beyond;
a glimpse, a fragile glimpse
of parted curtain, thinning veil.
What is it I see beyond the beyond?
clouded view of what could be,
cannot tell if it’s really me;
fear pulls the shade, no longer free,
and they will never ever write songs about me.
At times I am uncomfortable
when I look upon myself.
Who do I think I am
to dream I can be different?
So I continue to live in shadow
hovering between fear and wanna be.
I know that no one will ever see,
know too, they will never write songs about me.
But, to know I have a purpose
in the Greater Scheme of Life,
to dare to make my stand,
to know I have a choice.
I am One who lives in both worlds,
I guess it’s my destiny
Living in the periphery
is why they will never write songs about me.
Out of the well of darkness
of heartache and despair,
comes words to release the pain, the grief
and it’s these I wish to share:
Fame and Fortune care not for me.
Open heart, open hand for all to see.
Letting everyone know it’s okay with me
that they will never ever write songs about me.
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