Surviving Grief

After days of grieving

I keep thinking
I should feel empty
Instead, my gut roils and rumbles
 
I keep thinking
I should feel more heartbroken
but, at the moment,
my heart feels nothing
 
its shattered pieces
have fallen in jumbled piles
throughout my gut
leaving a huge, gaping hole
where my heart should be
 
Sharp, crushing edges
pierce my soul
in a clenched fist
of despairing darkness
 
My emotions
painfully knotted up
I bleed out in tears
broken, abandoned, alone
 
Like a washed up
piece of seaweed
left drying up on an open beach
by the outgoing tide…
there’s no comforting warmth in this sun
 
I need a new kitty ASAP
not to replace Pele
but to be her own little love
and to help me live wholeheartedly again.
 
--Sasha Wolfe