Sunday, March 26, 2023

Shipwrecked

The mast snaps

topples to the deck

smashing everything

in its path

 

My positive attitude

nosedives into an unnamed sadness

These days, it doesn’t

take much to set me off

 

My rigging deteriorates

its strength rotted away

and shredded sails scream

in the gale winds of grief

 

My hull rips open

and the angry sea rushes in

drowning me in a misery

too deep to explain

 

I take a deep breath

and strike out

for the shoreline –

only I can save myself.

--Sasha Wolfe


Saturday, March 25, 2023

Ice Storm

          Standing on tip toes

the edge of the precipice

pulls me to lean…

just a tad more

 

The raging storm of life

pummels me

Who would really care?

Why would I?

 

I’m surprised

my body holds rigid

when emotionally

I’m a puddled mess

 

Part of me

doesn’t care any more

I’m almost tempted

to slip forward

 

But I wait

wracked in sobs

the sharp shards of sleet

stabbing me to the core

 

How can I be so frozen

yet still feel intensely

the heat of pain and fear

worry consumes me

 

How can I ever trust again

when my heart has been broken

so many times, it’ll never heal

when the fear isolates me further

 

How can I live wholeheartedly

when days are filled

with scammers and thieves

I see not hope for the future

 

I shift my weight closer

How can there be any hope?

Is there is no saving of me?

I am so forever damaged

 

But once more

I step away from the edge

I may be forever damaged

but there is still …

 

For now, anyway.


Friday, February 10, 2023

I Miss my Mum

I miss my mum

my heart once young

still tries to cling

to a love once so strong

I thought could never break

 

I miss my mum

the loss so great

I’ll never recover

and today, as I wade

through sand so soft

 

my very being

balances on the edge of sanity,

and the realization

I will never feel love again,

leaves me invisible and alone.

 

--Sasha Wolfe

 

This came from a prompt while I was watching an episode of “NH Chronicle” about a poet.

Thursday, September 29, 2022

What Hope is There Left

What Hope is There Left

Hope is a fleeting want

that desire for something more

a dream that seldom

comes to fruition

 


Hope wears the wings

of a spectral being

a mystical, dragonfly-like creature

flitting around dying flowers

 

But hope’s light

seems to diminish each day

the dimming sucking the joy

out of life

 

Hope’s bright white

fades slowly to a dull misty gray

taking on a musty decaying smell

until its light finally

blinks out

 

Hope’s song,

at first vibrant and

full of joyful expectation,

dies a slow painful death

its death-wail

tearing your heart

from which you feel

you’ll never recover

 

When hope is gone,

what is there left?

 

But there’s always hope…

isn’t there?

Shouldn’t there be?

 

I don’t know any more.

At the moment,

I have little hope

for anything.

 

--Sasha Wolfe

Sunday, September 25, 2022

Grief Compounded

My heart
shattered, broken
shrouded in grief
so overwhelming
the shards continue
to cut deeply
 
My mind
gagged by strangling sadness
any joy within
has been pounded
into a murky congealing swill
 
My entire being
consumed by grief
of one thing after another
going wrong this year
I’m not sure
I can ever recover
 
Is it possible
that being broken
and put back together
so many times
throughout my life
that not it’s possible
these pieces may never
be glued back together?
 
I’ve forgotten
what happy feels like
and wonder
if I can ever feel
happy again
 
And, if I do get better
will I ever feel
totally wholehearted
Time will tell
I have little hope these days.
 
--Sasha Wolfe

Monday, September 19, 2022

No Warm Presence

There’s no warm presence
to comfort me
No fluff
rubbing against my legs
 
There’s no thump
as she jumps up
on the table beside
for kitty pats and brushies
 
There’s no warm presence
permeating the house
No warm solace
for my soul
 
There’s no comfort
in knowing
she’s just in the other room
sleeping on the bed
 
There’s no warm presence
to sit on my lap
while I’m watching TV
or watching herself
if there’s some
critter on the screen
 
There are no “Raow” greetings
in the middle of the night
when she looks for me
and jumps up on the bed
 
There are no
soft white paws
reaching up to me
while I get her breakfast
 
There are no
headbutts against my hand
while I’m writing
as she vies for attention
 
I miss brushing
that beautiful
white and calico
long, soft fur
 
I miss the purrs
the love, the companionship
I miss running my fingers
through that beautiful soft fur
 
There’s no warm presence
to comfort me
I’m alone and lonely
and missing the warmth
the purrs, the love
 
There’s no warm presence
to comfort me.
 

--Sasha Wolfe 

Friday, September 16, 2022

Surviving Grief

After days of grieving
I keep thinking
I should feel empty
Instead, my gut roils and rumbles
 
I keep thinking
I should feel more heartbroken
but, at the moment,
my heart feels nothing
 
its shattered pieces
have fallen in jumbled piles
throughout my gut
leaving a huge, gaping hole
where my heart should be
 
Sharp, crushing edges
pierce my soul
in a clenched fist
of despairing darkness
 
My emotions
painfully knotted up
I bleed out in tears
broken, abandoned, alone
 
Like a washed up
piece of seaweed
left drying up on an open beach
by the outgoing tide…
there’s no comforting warmth in this sun
 
I need a new kitty ASAP
not to replace Pele
but to be her own little love
and to help me live wholeheartedly again.
 
--Sasha Wolfe