Saturday, October 27, 2018

Downpour or On the Edge of Translation

It rains down
fills my soul
from head to toes
sometimes a heavy downpour
or thunderstorm

Its words with mine
stir my inner beingness
mixing in gut, heart, mind
until clouds of emotions
swirl and dance in partnership

It all bubbles up
threatens to burst my seams
I try to capture
thoughts and contemplations
in language I know

And the words
explode out of me
fall from pen
or onto computer keyboard
faster than I can write

At times
I’m only on the edge
of a translation
I can’t quite grasp
the correct words

Then suddenly
it all ceases
the downpour stops
words cut off
in midsentence or thought

Wait, wait!
I didn’t get it all!

I still haven’t come up with a description of how/what the inflow is really like. Sometimes there are real words I understand, and other times it’s a kind of feeling of what is being channeled; emotion, but not emotion. --SW

Thursday, October 25, 2018

Flash Flood

The gates open
words gush down
consuming me
tossing me along a stream
of water, stones, and sand

Words fill my mind

at an alarming rate
mix with emotions
bubbling from
my own inner well

I snatch and grab
try to anchor myself
on the words
try to form them
into cohesive thoughts
sentences and paragraphs

There’s initial success
as the page is filled
with interesting introspection
but the flow too turbulent
I’m soon overpowered
the focus becomes
a jumble of tossed stoned
and I lose the thread
of logic

I’m drowning
unable to control
the flow, the writing
then the torrent rushes on
through me, past me
leaving me exhausted
lying in mud
among the scattered stones.

Tuesday, October 23, 2018

A Calm Moment

In silence
a subtle move
breath becomes
nothing more than
another movement

In … out …
expand … contract …
the body reacts
the body responds
life flows through
every vein
in … out …
over and over

Heart and mind
follow the breath
in … out …
until it becomes

Considering an Overcast Day

Shadows within
a reflection of cloudy skies above
I like this gray

It’s reminiscent
of how I feel
quiet, soft, peaceful

It’s OK that every day
doesn’t have
to be sunny

My mind relaxes
under the gray-colored cloak
pulled in, feeling safe

Maybe that’s why
I like foggy mornings
it matches my soul.

(rewritten from 2009)

Monday, October 22, 2018

A Reason for Fear?

I approach the box
with trepidation
fear of what
might be found

I open the door quickly

Tiny bodies jump
flee the light
I leap back

Spiders spill out
creeping and crawling
by the hundreds it seems

I grab the mail
slam the door
and run
for the house
waiting for something
to slip out
from between envelopes
and scurry up my arm.

When I was a kid, we were playing hide ‘n’ seek and others thought it would be funny to stuff me in the mailbox, so IT wouldn’t find me. They ran off and forgot about me. IT didn’t find me, but spiders did! To this day I still have nightmares of creepy-crawlies getting on me.

In Silence My Heart Weeps

My heart couldn't recall
yesterday’s yearnings,
but the old hurts
laid claim
on unshed tears

In silence
my heart weeps

Walls built
a thousand years ago
cannot be torn down
by wishes alone

In silence
my heart weeps

I keep locked
the terror
that threatens
my soul

My heart
weeping in silence

Not such a big deal
by mind reasons
but still,
I wrap invisible cords
around my fragility
and let my emotions
keep others at bay

My heart weeping
in silence

I keep these feelings
hope no one
I can only dream
and alone,
I dance in joy
glad I don’t have to
put on an act.

In silence
the tears dry.

(rewritten from May 2009)

Sunday, October 7, 2018

Illogic Reigns

Illogic Reigns

In the din
of a crowded room
illogic reigns
pushing me
to the middle
of the arena
An isolated gladiator

I slip
between the web
to the outskirts
Now outside
looking in
not belonging,
not fitting in.

I’m overwhelmed
with the need
to escape
and disappear
No one notices
No one cares.

I’m trying to describe what happens to me sometimes when I’m in a crowd. It is illogical. I know I belong. I know I can fit in. I just have to talk to people. But sometimes – I don’t even know what to call it, just that it is overwhelming – I just have to get out of there, to escape.

--Sasha Wolfe