How can I describe
how my stomach knots,
how I feel nauseous,
how tears want to
leak from my eyes,
how the horrible lump
in my throat
threatens to gag me
How can I describe
how I just want to
hide in my bed
with the covers
pulled over my head,
how I want to close doors,
cover windows,
stay inside,
and not go anywhere
How can I describe
that being around
groups of people
makes me feel
out of place,
makes me want
to cower,
crawl in a corner,
stay out of sight,
and avoid talking
Was this how
my mum felt
near the end
when she no longer
wanted to go anywhere?
She never talked
about it
never had the words
Am I now
finding the words
for us both?
