Friday, September 14, 2018

Sometimes Life is Like This

I’m alone – from choice
but sometimes
sadness and grief
overwhelm me

Sometimes it seems
for every one thing
that goes right
too many more go wrong

Sometimes I get so tired
of fighting to stay upbeat
Sometimes the effort
is more than I can bear

Well-meaning words
echo through the canyons
of my mind
suck out my willpower

Harsh words said,
“… because we love you,
worry about you”
are not supportive

Maybe harsh criticism
works for some
ignites their fire
forces them to change

But harsh words to me
do not feel of love
but of finding fault
being talked down to

That if I’m not like them
I’m not perfect
or good enough
or deserving enough

Some days
I don’t feel strong
I don’t want to fight
my energy flatlines

My fire diminishes
I want to crawl
into a hole
and never come out

Sometimes I’m just
too fragile.
I am deflated.

It’s Hard Work to Stay Positive

At the time
I couldn’t understand
why my mother
gave up

I couldn’t understand
why, with so much
life has to offer
she stopped caring

I swore
I would never
be like her!

She’d say,
“Just wait,”
and her entire demeanor

“Just wait
until you’re this age
then you’ll

I swore
I would never
be like her

The years and the tears
wear me down,
“Yeah, Mum,
I understand now.”

Sometimes I feel
I am becoming
just like her.