Sunday, September 3, 2017

Explosive Holidays

I jump out of my skin
the house shakes
vibrations reverberate
through the air
An echoing boom
resounds across the street

Fear washes over me 
my heart 
jumps to my throat
pounds a rapid staccato
in my head

Pele’s eyes huge
ears laid flat
she stares 
at the front door

Another blast
another reverberating echo
My heart slams 
an unnatural beat 
in my chest
This isn’t normal
fireworks, and it’s closer 
than it’s been in the past 

I tell myself
Calm down
it’s just neighbors
having fun

My heart pounds again
threatens to explode
from my chest
I pull the blanket higher
as if I can hide

I get myself
under control
have a few minutes reprieve
before another deep boom
I rationalize
holiday, celebration
I tell myself 
others enjoy this
I wonder how those
suffering PTSD

Each subsequent blast
rattles my self-control
Breathe deep, calm down,
it won’t last long
I keep repeating
holding back tears
hoping my heart
won’t shatter 
with the next blast.

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